Recently photos of a man, from Northern Nigeria, married to multiple wives went viral online. The size of the man’s family mangaed to catch the interest of many poeple online. In the first photo you can see him seated in the middle of his four wives. While the second photo purports to show a picture of them together with all their 31 children.Â
This kind of family is not really considered normal or acceptable in many places around the world, however, in many communities in Nigeria, and around Africa, this is not necessarily considered unusual. In fact in many communities, men are even encouraged to pursue polygamous marriages, if the have the means to support such a relationship.
Due to cultural and religious practices there are many who view polygamous relationships in a positive manner. I do think it’s important to emphasise however, that polygamy is often practiced by only a small minority of people around the African continent.
Most Africans prefer (and are in) monogamous relationships. In many cases, especially in more urban communities, families that practice polygamy often face backlash from the general populace. It is more often the case that polygamy is practised in more traditional rural communities, isolated from the more urban areas.Â
However, it is still the reality that, although they are the minority, there are many communities around the continent who view polygamy in a positive light.
Why is Polygamy bad?
Now, one might argue, if these people are happy to live their lives in such a manner; what should it matter to the rest of society? However, the negative societal consequences of polygamous marriages have been long known to many around the world.
There is a reason why polygamous marriages are not allowed in many countries around the world. If such couples were to move out of their communities they would often find that in many places their marriages are not legally recognised, and for good reason. Polygamy has several negative societal impacts, such as:
- Sexism
Among many African communities that practice polygamy, women are often subject to unequal treatment in their marriages. Often the women in these relationships are treated with much less power and autonomy than their male counterparts. They are often diminished to mere objects of sexual desire and relegated to the role of childbearing vessels.
- Economic Strains
Supporting a monogamous marriage with children is often already a major task. Supporting multiple spouses and children will take serious amounts of wealth in order to support such a large family unit. If the primary breadwinner fails to provide sufficient financial support to all family members, the repercussions can extend beyond the family unit, impacting the broader society and potentially leading to significant negative implications for society as a whole.
- Social instability
Due to massive levels of corruption and economic mismanagement present in many African nations, many societies are not built to be able to accommodate for the large number of people born out of polygamous families. As a result, increased competition for resources, social status, and marital partners, have the potential to lead to tensions and conflicts within communities.
- Emotional issues
Raising a child takes more than just providing for them financially, there are many other aspects of parenthood involved which cannot otherwise be fulfilled with the often large number of children birthed out of polygamous marriages. In addition, things like jealousy, rivalry, and insecurity among spouses and children can lead to emotional turmoil and strained relationships.
- Legal challenges
Another major probelm related to polygamous families are issues related to inheritance, custody, and other rights and responsibilities often arise.
How do we solve this?
While I would never advocate for the separation of families or the complete ostracism of individuals in polygamous marriages from society, such actions could potentially exacerbate the issue by causing these communities to further isolate themselves and solidify their beliefs.
However, at a societal level it is important that we work to properly communicate the negative effects polygamy has on families and society as a whole. In addition to educating people on the negative aspects of polygamy, we must be willing to address the issue on a legislative level to protect individuals from its harmful effects.
Laws centred around marriage, inheritance, and child custody should be put in place to ensure the protection of all parties involved, especially children. Moreover we must be willing to provide support to individuals seeking to leave polygamous relationships to navigate all the complicated legal procedures that they are forced to deal with as a result.
Should We Ban Polygamy in Africa?
Now, it begs the question whether we should be willing to ban polygamy outright? Although such a measure would be difficult politically to pass and difficult to implement within ideologically inclined communities, we must be willing to act, knowing the negative effects of polygamy on our communities.
If perhaps a ban is politically unattainable, we must work to better inform our communities about the negative impacts of polygamous relationships. This is vital if we wish to form societies that will uphold principles of equality, justice, and human rights, while fostering environments conducive to healthy family dynamics and social cohesion.
